Today, we reached a pivotal moment in our family’s journey. A moment of profound learning and self-reflection that prompted me to ask, ‘How could I have missed it?’ With Quba’s permission, I’m sharing our story, hoping it might illuminate the path for other parents navigating similar terrains.
Our firstborn, Quincy, was diagnosed with autism at two. He displayed the traditional signs—tiptoe walking, flapping, spinning, delayed speech, and a deep fascination with numbers.
Quincy’s world was one of patterns and precision, his talents blossoming in a home environment tailored to his needs.
Then came Quba. In a household already primed to support special educational needs, Quba thrived, showing remarkable verbal skills and intellectual abilities from an early age. His achievements shone brightly, a beacon of potential and promise.
Yet, beneath the surface of academic excellence and social acceptance, there were signs we didn’t fully understand.
Quba began to show signs of fatigue, disinterest in school, and a longing for solitude and free time. Initially, we thought it was the academic pressure or the desire to escape into his gaming world.
However, as we delved deeper, we discovered that these were manifestations of burnout from masking—masking that stemmed from his undiagnosed autism.
How did we miss this? Our family is no stranger to autism. We’re educated, aware, and deeply embedded in the world of mental health and autism support. Yet, Quba’s ability to mask his struggles led us down a path of misunderstanding.
This realization hit hard. If we could miss the signs, how many other parents might be in the same boat, especially with children who don’t fit the ‘traditional’ autism stereotype but are instead super maskers?
Masking can be a coping mechanism, but at what cost? For me, masking created immense anxiety. While as an adult, I’ve learned to mask intentionally in a way that feels authentic, for a child, this balance is much harder to achieve.
They are still learning who they are.
So, to all parents out there, if there’s even a whisper of doubt in your mind that your child might be struggling, listen to that voice. Don’t dismiss it as I did, thinking, ‘He’s doing fine.’ Our story is a testament to the complexity of autism and the myriad ways it can manifest.
Quba’s diagnosis has brought relief and understanding, not just for him but for our whole family. He is happier than ever because he now understands himself, and we are better equipped to support him.
Let this be a call to action for all of us to embrace the nuances of autism, to look beyond the surface, and to support our children in understanding and celebrating their true selves. If our story resonates with you or sparks even a moment of recognition, please don’t hesitate to seek guidance.
You are not alone.
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Think of a movie trailer, before you decide what movie you are going to watch most of us like to watch the trailer.
Why? The trailer shows you parts of the storyline and gives you sneaky snapshots of what to expect. It highlights some of the best parts. The images come fast a furious and you decide after if you are going to invest your time and money.
Your brand story does the same, you share important parts of your story, you give them a bit about your past, present and your future.
Your past is why you started, your present is what you do, your future is the results they will get from working with you. We wrap it all up by concluding with your company vision and mission.
THIS WILL ENGAGE, INSPIRE AND ENTERTAIN YOUR AUDIENCE. THIS IS A FANTASTIC WAY TO SHOWCASE YOUR OFFERING WITHOUT HAVING TO “SELL”
Please answer the questions below.
These will help me create your story!
1. Why did you decide to start your business?
2. Imagine you have a line of eager ready to buy customers queuing up to buy your service or product. Who would they be in your perfect world?
3. If you only had six months to live and you had to pass the business over, what would you tell your predecessor?
4. What are the most common objections why your ideal customer doesn’t buy from you?
5. What are your customers biggest fears?
6. What are you customers hopes and dreams?
7. What groups on social media do you think they have signed up to?
8. Please describe your earliest happiest childhood memory connected to your character.
9. Please describe you earliest saddest childhood memory connected to your character.
10. What makes you so upset that you could talk all day about it?
11. What was the kindest thing a customer has said to you about your product or service?
12. What do you want people to say about you and your business?
13. What is your best quality?
14. What is your company mission?
15. What are your companies’ values and beliefs?
16. What separates you from your competition?
17. What is the biggest challenge you have faced in your business? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once I have collected this information, I will write a script that is authentic, inspiring, powerful and ultimately connects you to your ideal customers.
Next, we will go back and forth to get it just right for you. I want you to feel comfortable with what you say and the way you say it.
Next Step.
Filming day - I will support you virtually step by step.
We will create your set, your style and get everything just right. You can use your phone or bring someone to your space with all the technology. We will work together to get all the shots and collect images and old videos to support and tell your story.
You will send me all the footage and I will stitch it all together beautifully.
The finished product will be a stunning BRAND STORY that highlights you as an authority in your field.
The wonderful thing about a brand story is that you get to show the world why you and why you love what you do. People will get to know you, they will fall in love with you and your story.
We are going to turn your mess into a message.
Your BRAND STORY is your sales video, it will engage and attract potential customers/clients.
We can use this video everywhere.
We can run a short advert on social media to build awareness of the brand.
This will be a fantastic way to promote yourself to your peers and likeminded professionals.
What next?
See you on the zoom call. I will ask you these questions and get the details so that we can create your BRAND STORY script.
CLUBHOUSE Bio....
As parents, we do the best we can with the knowledge that we have.
Ife Thomas will be presenting proven methods and techniques on How to Raise Happy Confident Children.
In this presentation, Ife will talk about her journey of self-discovery and how she built her own self-esteem after being abandoned by
her birth mother at 6 weeks old. Ife has spent 17 years studying why some youngsters grow into happy fulfilled responsible people, while others end up anxious, depressed and not living up to their potential.
Ife discovered that if you can change your thinking, you can change your life!
During the talk you will laugh a lot and maybe cry a little, but you’re guaranteed to be entertained.
Ife has an infectious, compassionate personality and will leave you feeling uplifted, inspired and ready to build confidence in yourself and your children.
“As parents, we are under incredible pressure and sometimes we may forget to take care of us.”
I believe that everyone has a gift, no matter who you are or where you come from, all of us are born with something great! We just need to figure out what that is and encourage our children to figure out what theirs is.” Over the evening, Ife will share an innovative way of enabling parents to achieve this through a simple, easy to follow process.
- Ife Thomas