A Race Discussion

I explained to my 7 and 8 year old sons why mummy was so sad 😞 and I started with explaining the story behind #blacklivesmatter

An African Proverb says - Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.

With this in mind, we have dedicated our efforts to build confidence and self love in our boys because we knew the moment they were born they would be thrown into this world.

Two black boys growing up in a world where many corporations will judge them before even seeing them. I was told by a buisness associate that I should avoid giving them “Black Names“ it will effect their chances in the recruitment stages.

The world we live in no longer segregates the blacks and whites, but often a black man will still be initially judged by the colour of his skin and not by the contents of his personality.

I have interviewed many black men, who tell me how in corporate U.K. they are still being overlooked and treated differently to their white counterparts. The issue of race goes deeper and deeper and I thought that if I raise my sons in a way that builds them up so that they have the resilience to keep pushing back when they are dismissed or overlooked. That would be enough. I say you need to be 5 times as good then you will be guaranteed the same opportunity. A star ⭐️ won’t protect them from the bullet of a gun it won’t protect them from a racist remark. It won’t stop the shame we feel when we see that you can’t see the greatness in us. I have had the pleasure to work with so many BLACK men. I can tell you..

"Black people are an evolving group of human beings with a history of abuse, which means many of us are trapped in some way, whilst others have escaped. Slavery was not that long ago, just a few generations. Slavery demeaned and destroyed every aspect of family, and life. Many of us unknowingly are still healing from that, and its going to take generational healing“ -Bishop Jakes

As a black women I think it’s much harder to be a black man. Black men watched their wives, mothers and sister being rapped by the slave master. What does that do to a person.. slavery created side effects, lack of confidence, Self esteem, fear , self hatred and all that pain has been passed down, we witness people who look ok but who are still suffering from what is called post dramatic stress disorder.“

We women have to be strong and you might be like why? I got my own stuff to deal with? if we don’t CHEER ON OUR black men who eles will? Many of our men are still trying to overcome but I believe if we treat our sons like princes and our husbands like kings they will slowly believe in themselves as much as we believe in them.
How do we stay strong, run a business build a career take care of a family and still get time to do our nails and look effortless fierce?

I'm still trying to master it.

What I know for sure is that this will only change when more black people feel that it’s safe enough to tell our story or share our opinion and for the World to listen.

I was inspired to create a safe space and I asked a selected group of friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances to join the panel to discuss in an open space RACE

Please be advised strong language and visuals. Not recommended for children.